Thursday, September 01, 2005

What's The Opposite Of A Hydra?

By what mechanism are politicians created? I've always assumed they were spontaneously generated from rotting meat, like pre-Enlightenment flies, but I'm open to other theories.

Whatever the process is, it appears never to have been introduced to Israel. Israel has had the same four (more recently three) major politicians since the Dawn of Time, and they don't go away, and they don't get lastingly discredited by any of their shocking scandals, and they just keep going off in disgrace and then returning in glory, and they do periodic elaborate mutual dances of opposition, coalition, betrayal and rapprochement, and they only ever fucking die if someone assassinates them. What is up with that?

Now 'Bibi' (how I loathe these cutesy domesticating diminutives--Aren't you an adorable widdle homicidal megalomaniac! Oh yes you are! Oh yes you are!) is launching his bid to take over Likud, while 'Arik' is rumored to be scheming to create a whole new slice-n-graft party out of the left tranche of Likud and the right of Labour. Pretty soon there will be more Israeli parties than politicians to lead them. And that, one can't help feeling, could very well lead to some small reduction in efficiency of the pursuit of everyone's goal. Now wouldn't that be a shame.

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