Sunday, July 10, 2005

Notification Of Nomenclatural Innovation

In my line of (pretend) work, I've long been troubled by the lack of a really good, demeaning nickname for our President. None of the variations in circulation really satisfy. Shrub is clever but a bit labored. Dubya has the right redneck gestalt but feels a bit too potentially chummy to me; he could think we were actually fond of him. Use of his actual, unmodified surname, of course, implies way too much acknowledgment of his supposed status as an adult human being.

But I've been stumped trying to come up with something better, cleverer, catchier. Until today, when, while I was shamelessly reading back over one of my own posts about the ethical outrage of Bushpapa's former presidential physician, inspiration struck: Bushbaby!

I mean, nothing says disrespect like comparing a world leader to a prosimian. And damn if there isn't a certain felicitous resemblance: note the overlarge ears, the hopelessly lost, startled look in the glassy eyes, the hunted glance back over the shoulder as it realizes its
desperate attempt at camouflage against the bark has failed. If ever a prosimian just catastrophically bollocksed up the occupation of an already brutalized country on the barely-comprehended advice of its handlers, this is that creature.

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