Dept. of Things That Are So Gonna Work
A Ugandan MP, Sulaiman Madada, is offering girls university scholarships to remain virgins through high school graduation. This is his clever plan to prevent HIV infection, as well as 'to improve the moral welfare of young people and stop them marrying too young.'
In order to qualify, girls would have to submit to a gynecological exam after graduating high school. The genius thing about this is that it's totally not going to encourage them to engage in even riskier behaviors like unprotected anal sex (no chance of pregnancy, why bother with a condom?), while keeping their fiscally-inflated hymens intact.
I'm told that in Brazil, where technical virginity is still a cherished connubial commodity, there's not an unpenetrated anus in the teenage female population. Human ingenuity did e'er find a way.