Thursday, June 02, 2005

Supin' It Up, American-Style


The Engineer, or as I like to call her, 'Me'

In recognition of the enhanced faculties I will require in order to halt the runaway disaster-train that is my native land, instantiate the Revolution and be back in England in time for tea, I have decided to create a meme. A meme with a motif. A themed meme, if you will.

With a certain amount of fanfare, therefore, I give you Suped Up: The Post-Human Quiz, complete with my own personal answers, and I call upon Martin 'So Many Blogs, So Little Time' Wisse, Apostate Canadian and why not, he's got to have some leisure on his hands now, everyone's favorite father of the revolution to step up and don the cape.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)
For me, there's always been one clear answer to this: telekinesis. Well do I remember being a wee slip of a lass, walking home from the bus stop and bending all my diminutive, polyester-clad will toward concerted attempts to shift pebbles, sticks, cars and myself with the unaided power of thought. Didn't work then, doesn't work now (yeah, so I still give it the occasional go; wanna make something of it?), but it's always been my one true superpower de choix. I'm not sure actually I can offer a coherent explanation of why, but if you asked certain of my intimates I suspect they might have contributions that didn't uniformly omit the words 'control' and 'freak'.

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?
Many contenders for this one chez BionOc. I have a weakness for the dark, brooding and hypertrophic, and comic books feed my jones like crack to a preteen. If you're thinking Dark-Knight-vintage Batman, you're not far off. Currently my favors are divided between Top Ten's Jeff Smax, who's massive, impervious, brooding in echt-Scandinavian style AND the most divine shade of Prussian blue, and Stormwatch/The Authority's Jack Hawksmoor, aka The God of Cities. Surgically configured by aliens to interact symbiotically with cities, Jack can work with pretty much anything you can get a city to do, which is a damned odd power, plus he wears a dapper black suit, has treads on the bottoms of his bare feet, and he broods too. Once he wore Tokyo as a battle-suit to defeat a rogue sentient city attacking from far-future Earth. What's not to shag?

OK look, you don't have to be nearly as geeky as I am about this. If you have a guilty yen for Superman, or perhaps used Wonder Woman Underoos for unorthodox purposes lo these many years gone, out with it. You're among friends here.

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?
I hate Dr. Jean Grey from the X-Men movie, because she's whiny, has the world's worst X-Men name, and because in the 2nd movie she blatantly picks the wrong guy. (Wolverine's on my To Do list too, in a big way.) Also because she's telekinetic and I'm jealous. I also hate Stormwatch/The Authority's Shen Li Min, aka Swift, because she has idiotic powers: basically she's just a big bird-person with talons who can shriek really loud. Lame.

OK, here's the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)
I know what you're thinking. 'But Bionic Octopus is already the best superhero name ever!' Ah, thanks, thanks friends, but I respectfully demur. Bionic Octopus is a crap superhero name (and indeed one which will continue to make no sense to anyone until certain undenominated persons bestir themselves to add the soundtrack to my little movie), and what's more it has nothing to do with my chosen powers. Thus I am hoist on my own petard, and must come up with one that does. In keeping with my habitually modest self-estimation, not to mention my well-known fascination with numerology, I'm going to go with The Prime Mover.

For extra credit: Is there an 'existing' superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?
This one's easy too, even though she's not telekinetic. I want so much to be Angela Spica, aka The Engineer from The Authority. A geeky comic-book-reading teenager, she grew up to be a scientist, exchanged her blood for 9 pints of nanometallic fluid, and can generate any technology she wants, including weaponry, out of her own person. Basically, she gets to have a boomin' body AND organic full metal body armor to keep it in. Gorgeous and unfuckable-with: that's just about what the doctor ordered.

Pass it on. Three people please, and why they're the wind beneath your wings.

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