Saturday, June 04, 2005

Insh'allah, This Time Rumsfeld Stays Down, Bitch

It's been a little while since we've had an award to give out, but I'm pleased to inform you we've just been handed one holy mother of an envelope.

Today I am delighted to present The Henry Kissinger Nobel Memorial Award for Face So Surreally Extreme As To Paralyze Speech to the United States Defense Department, which has just been ordered by a federal judge to turn over a bunch of photos and videos of detainee abuse at Abu Ghraib. The government's opposition to the suit, brought by the ACLU under the Freedom of Information Act, rested on the claim that by turning over visual evidence of the abuse they would be violating the prisoners' rights under the Geneva Conventions.

Fear not, illegal detainees! We will kick you, freeze you, rape you, electrocute you, humiliate you, piss on you and your holy books, set dogs on you and kill you in myriad creative ways, but we will defend your right to privacy with our dying breath.

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