Tuesday, May 03, 2005

You Know Diplomatic Relations Are Thawing

When they break out the Giant Panda Gift Basket. In today's hands-down winner for most batfuck political reconciliation gesture, China is sending Taiwan a prezzie of two giant pandas. And don't think it's because pandas have some arcane special gravitas for the Chinese that makes this an act of profound solemnity; they're being sent in hopes that 'their tame nature, air of nobleness and cuddly looks will bring joy and laughter to the Taiwan compatriots, children in particular.'

Yes, China is sending Taiwan two giant fuzzy toys, apparently as a ploy to cute them into accepting downgraded sovereignty status. Reports indicate there is uncertainty whether the canny Taiwanese will accept the Trojan Pandas.

Reader, lest you think this offer reflects insufficient recognition of the serious issues of national self-determination at stake, rest assured. China also plans to lift 'important tariffs' levied on 'more than 10 types of fruit.'

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