Saturday, May 07, 2005

Fear Not, Mr. Prime Minister, Your Legacy Is Assured After All

It is well known among schoolchildren, and occasionally remarked upon by our less imaginative novelists, that matter is created in the immense fusion reactors that form the hearts of stars. Under conditions of unimaginably intense pressure and heat, two atoms of hydrogen are hurled together and fused to form a single molecule of helium.

Just such an event occurred Friday during Tony Blair's speech outside No. 10 Downing Street. In that blistering and volatile crucible of combined electoral humiliation and dogged triumphalism, conditions were ripe for the catastrophic collision of TB's ever-expanding messiano-presidential egotism and the show of suitably chastened humility required of a man whose mendacity had assured his government an unequivocal thrashing in the polls.

And collide they did, with no less spectacular issue than the birth of a brand-new, never-before-recorded personal pronoun. Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of grammatical science I am delighted to announce the discovery of The Tony Blair First Person Singulo-Plural Dissociative Third Party Pronoun: 'I-we-the-Government'.

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