Monday, April 11, 2005

Why There Is No Nobel Prize For Upholstery

Took an online IQ test today. I confess it freely. Know full well it's meaningless, culturally, racially and socioeconomically biased and generally a reprehensible heap of rubbish. Don't care--it's a number that says how smart I am.
(No, I won't tell you what the number was. Here, I'll write a number on this piece of paper, fold it up and slide it across the table. Eh? Yeeess.)

Having received the number, had naturally to Google "average IQ score" to determine exactly how smart it made me, and was rewarded straight off with a page containing the most surreal piece of covert attempted social engineering I've seen in many a day. Courtesy of Glen Wilson and Diana Grylls in their book Know Your Child’s IQ, I give you occupations typical of various IQ levels:

140 Top Civil Servants; Professors and Research Scientists.
130 Physicians and Surgeons; Lawyers; Engineers (Civil and Mechanical)
120 School Teachers; Pharmacists; Accountants; Nurses; Stenographers; Managers.
110 Foremen; Clerks; Telephone Operators; Salesmen; Policemen; Electricians.
100+ Machine Operators; Shopkeepers; Butchers; Welders; Sheet Metal Workers.
100- Warehousemen; Carpenters; Cooks and Bakers; Small Farmers; Truck and Van Drivers.
90 Laborers; Gardeners; Upholsterers; Farmhands; Miners; Factory Packers and Sorters.

I am captivated by the lunatic specificity of this list. Stenographers? Cooks AND Bakers? Upholsterers? I took great pleasure in informing my novelist lover that writers aren't even on the list. This, I am convinced, is because they have no IQ at all.

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