Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Two Birds, One Dome

So here's my pitch for ridding the world of two scourging harpies while creating quality entertainment that will delight the whole family for years to come.

In a few days Condi Claus will return from sleighing around with her big Sack o' Democracy, sowing terror in the hearts of the naughty children of Latin America. We grab her, stop in Westchester to pick up Hillary 'Abortion Is Tragic Now That I'm Too Old To Need One' Clinton, and hightail it to LA, to the Warner Bros. 'Mad Max' soundstage.

There we bungee the pair of them into Thunderdome, and let them chainsaw it out on live television. No viewer-determined outcome here, just sheer animal struggle: Condi's skull-faced Snake Lady vs. Hillary's ravening She-Goat.

Pretty thrilling, eh? But wait, here's the twist. Instead of emerging blooded and triumphant to seize control of Lobbytown, the victor gets set on fire!

Two Hags Enter, No Hag Leaves--everyone's a winner!

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